Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
