is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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