how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
