dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
