At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
