Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize