just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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