I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
