Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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