why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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