Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
