Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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