you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
