I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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