your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
