Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
