pop tarts are not kleenex
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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