Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
