he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
