Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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