Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
