is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
