Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
