no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
