Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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