Jerry, you need to find god
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
