Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
