my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
