Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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