Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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