i just google imaged poop.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
