she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
