allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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