I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I will die if light touches me.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
