**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
