Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
