I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
