Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My ATM looks so different sober.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
