i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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