I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
