And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
