there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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