i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
