I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
