Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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