Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
