Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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