I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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