If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
