i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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