K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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