i barfeds in our rink
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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