Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
