Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
