What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
