I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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