I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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